I attended a funeral today and it got me thinking about the differences between an atheist's views and a religious person's views of life. First, let me just say that I found the funeral to be quite beautiful. Seeing a community come together to celebrate the life of a person is an inspiring and happy sight. The atmosphere lends itself to help support the most powerful of feelings: sadness, joy, respect, and angst.
Because I was not close to the person that died, I had the opportunity to observe the ones around me. What I found was quite confusing; I found myself smiling and feeling joy while others were showing signs of sadness. I know the fact I was not close to the person is the main reason I could feel this way, but I still feel as though my feelings would be much different if, say, my immediate family passed away. I say this because the pastor was talking about how one might feel the situation is unfair due to having a loved one pass away; why would God allow this to happen to someone so kind? I feel this is the difference between an atheist and a religious person. As an atheist, I acknowledge and accept life can easily be ended and understand accidents happen. To simplify my views, I know that my family or myself is no more special than anyone else in the world. This causes me to appear callous during what are commonly seen as emotional and trying times, for my grieving period is much shorter. While the religious person may be dwelling on the pain caused by the situation, I am already seeing the powerful influence the person had on others while living.
I am beginning to ramble. What I am trying to get at is the fact that talking about seeing a person "later" does little good now. I would much prefer to see everyone use a person's passing as a catalyst to do good; note how precious and fragile life actually is. Ask yourself, What can I do to achieve the most and positively influence the lives of others?
I recently had a few email exchanges with a student about how I would love to think I can see my mom again. However, without any evidence of that actually able to happen, I am left with only the ability to influence the current world around me. Am I happy with what I have done so far? No. Is thinking about my mom beneficial? Yes. Is thinking I will see her again useful? No. Is that last thought detrimental? To me, no; to a religious person, probably. Where I see a waste of energy, others probably see a missing piece of motivation.
I feel as if I could rewrite this piece 100 times and it would all be slightly different. This just shows how complicated and fascinating life is. So I will leave it by saying that even though atheists and theists have different views, we all appreciate and value life. I just do not want theists to think that because they believe in an afterlife, that means they value life more. I am tired of others thinking atheists "care" less. Life is an experience; we all experience similar, if not the same, emotions.
That's interesting that you said you felt bad about being joyful while others were sad at the funeral. Traditionally, we are taught to be sad at funerals. In other cultures, a death is a celebration because they have moved on from a painful existence to a (hopefully) better one. Even during our Mom's funeral, yes I was very sad- but it brought so many people together and that was when we started hearing so many stories that we had never heard before because we usually miss out on the human-connection or don't see it as important during other times in our lives.
ReplyDeleteNo one misses your mother more that I do. But I was not distraught at her funeral. I had been mourning her death from the moment I heard the doctor say it was just a matter of time. ( What he actually said was," You have to quit smoking because some one will have to be there for the children.") From that moment on, I was there to share her suffering as much as I could, knowing that the end would be there all too soon. The hardest times were when I was trying to take care of her and yet not deprive you kids of the time I felt you needed of me. Or maybe I should say, "The time I needed to be with you."
ReplyDeleteAt the funeral, I tried to honor her wishes and the wishes of her other family and provide all the rites and duties of a Catholic funeral. I don't think I was a hypocrite in carrying out her wishes. You may remember all the time I spent going to Catholic classes to become a member of the Catholic church, but all the classes did for me was to convince me that there is no god, and Catholicism has been terribly wrong.
When I die, remember the good times we had together, and have a party after scattering my ashes to the winds! Be sure to have a shot of Scotch and a Guinness at the party!
i really enjoyed reading this. as well as your dad's comment. i was raised in a catholic family and now with having stella, i am also part of a lutheran family. for many years i have questioned the existence of a god and the ways in which people follow religions... reading these view points have given more power to what i feel to be the way of life.
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