Feelings - Belittled leading to isolation

This is a continuation of the emotions series.

I concluded the cause of this feeling quite quickly: the inability to relate when desired.  Now, the reason this came up was discussing emotions with a friend.  Moreover, I couldn't connect on one of the emotions the other was describing.  Particularly in this case was joyful crying.  I've never once cried out of joy.  However, I do admit to crying and it leading to joy, such as when I cried over my performance as a teacher and becoming inspired to do better.  But it was the realizing I hit “rock bottom” that initiated the crying, not the inspirational piece.  The fact seeing “beauty” causes crying does not make sense to me.

Crying during happy occasions is a common occurrence.  For example, I've seen people cry during weddings.  But I almost want to say the tears are brought on by negative feelings, such as a he-doesn't-need-me-anymore feeling.  In that case, I can understand why parents or some family members cry.  Now, sometimes friends of the bride/groom cry.  I can only understand those tears if the person feels a bit jealous or also gets the I’m-alone-now feeling.  Otherwise, why wouldn't you just smile and/or laugh like in every other happy moment of life?

Anyway, the inability (and sometimes undesirability) to relate to people shuts me off.  I know this is why I don’t try to start conversation at the grocery store or other random places.  Now don’t get this wrong, for I do smile and put out positive non-verbals because smiling makes me and others feel better.  Yet, I've been having the feeling of failure to connect too many times when talking with people about their emotional feelings.  In order to fix this, I need to start asking people how they got said feelings so I can get more information and possibly make a real connection.  This way, I can avoid feeling isolated and clearly show myself caring for others.  I think I’m trying to ditch the robot….